Kiss
Puke
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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