dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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