Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
