So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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