bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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