so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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