So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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