And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
