Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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