Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
