I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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