I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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