i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize