If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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