I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wish i was in the wii world.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
