Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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