Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
