when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize