This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
