Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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