why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
