I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
