I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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