hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
