Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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