i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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