I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I love you.
Bad choice
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
