Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
