i permit you to call me
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
