No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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