He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
