Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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