i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
