It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
