Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
