Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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