Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Pants are for mortals
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
