remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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