Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
