Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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