Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
