i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I am mentally ready for anal.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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