Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
