I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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