You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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