couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
