i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
