I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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