i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
