watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
