He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Banned from zoo.
Again?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
