listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize