i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
