some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
