I think i peed on brittanys purse
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize