Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
