the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
