spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
