I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
