He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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