Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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