Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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