I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
