Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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