There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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