JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
