It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
