What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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