Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
