There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
