I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you had me at cake vodka
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize