We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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