Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
