She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
well, you know. whores of a feather.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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